About Sagihharius

I am Sagihharius and, ever since I emerged from my larval sac on Sagisspawn, I have always felt a yearning for something... aflame.

The Preamble

I was an average student and, during my education on Sagippedia, proved myself just worthy enough to be assigned as a xenologist allowing me to remain on Sagippedia (from what I have heard of life on Sagiggrind and Sagisslave, I am fortunate).

What I didn't know was that I would be assigned to Xenology Group Zeta.  The Zeta Group is tasked with the collection of Core Learnings from only the most mundane of civilizations.  Mundane as decided by Sagittarians, that is.

The Assignment

My current assignment has directed me to the Sol System to observe the Earth civilization and distil my findings into Core Learnings to be brought back to the archives of Sagippedia.  My superior, Sagimmiddle, assured me that the assignment would be brief and that only the smallest Core Learning receptacle – which is all I was supplied with – would be needed to capture everything.

I stationed myself on Phobos to observe at a comfortable distance.  At times I was concerned that I had been detected as all manner of strange objects were sent in my direction; I once spotted an red Earthling terestrial vehicle!  However, I later learned that Earth is, sadly, plagued by a small number of very powerful but profoundly stupid individuals.  Sagittarians went through this phase and solved it, primarily, by digesting these pests whole.

FUN FACT: The last violent revolution in the S2 system nearly wiped out the entire civilization were it not for the wise leaders of Sagibbliss who distributed their supply of – proprietary – Pleasure Tubes across the system.  Sagiggasmic!

The Dillema

I was told they were mundane.  I was told they had little to offer.  I was told a load of Sagiccrux shit!

True, they are disgusting, enormously dangerous to themselves, and are actually a lot like a horde of hungry Sagiccrux, but there is something here we have overlooked.  I have absorbed several Core Learnings about other civilizations but none produces "music".  The variety, subtleties, and canvas for expression is... inspiring.  I want to master it or, at least master it enough to bring back a Core Learning that will lift me out of Xenology Group Zeta and into the annals of Sagittarian history.

I have since spent all my time investigating this music.  My superior Sagimmiddle, however, has called me back to Sagippedia expecting that I have collected my Core Learning for Earth already.  I cannot go back without this astounding finding!  Because they only sent me here with a miniscule Core Learning receptacle, I will have to use myself and anything else I can find as the receptacle for the sheer amount of Learning to be acquired.

Remote Work

Luckily for me, the Sagittarian civilization is a bureaucratic one (on Sagittax, it takes 2 revolutions around Sag A* to order a cup of Sagibbrew, and it takes 2 more to get it!)  I can stall for time by reporting back with technical issues or natural phenomena that keep me from returning.  In the mean time, I am using some Earth technology to capture my Core Learnings and music that I make during the process.  My hope is that, perhaps, it will help other Earthlings to continue this pursuit.